Musings of a Divorcee

Part one

My first

Tall, lean, sixteen

the softness of youth

No chiseled or hard edges

That lightness in his laugh

in his butterscotch skin

Looking like he was caught in the light of the sun

Bright, warm eyes, glinting

Playful and mischievous

that gazed upon me

I think they saw me

It was nice to see the sun on me through his eyes

That’s what love felt like then

Young, light, warm and seen

Part 2

Basketball court, summer tan

Fading to fair in the colder, grayer months

Common and Nas collab, a little Little Brother, Lauren, the Whispers

In Ravenswood

Charm and carnage in those light eyes

Long eyelashes and wild eyebrows

26 but barely facial hair

Love like Love & Basketball

Rivalry, admiration, friendship

Love like spades

Partnership but holding cards close, even from each other

Love like vows in front of loved ones,

like being embodied in our likenesses

Love like growing up,  together,

And apart

Love like hurt and heartbreak

Part 3

Rich brown skin, like of the earth

Sturdy, physical presence

Thoughts wandering, reaching

Dark eyes, veiled, seeking

Never quite seeing ME

Touch told our secrets, our fears

Intimate, intertwined and still distant

The way we folded into each other

Deep yearning and desire

Felt like love

Felt like love when he looked through me

When I called him in to me

Felt like we were transforming,

Our pain, our pasts, ourselves into love

After, in embrace, the loudness of our silence, hearts seeking stasis

Reminded that I could love and be loved

Again